Motherhood has had the stage of my life looking much different than I ever imagined. Children, I hoped would be a part of my life, but eight of them! Whoa! That must have been written in the fine print... Laundry. Well, that's a given, but two to three loads a day? Have mercy on my soul. Snotty noses, okay? But, it's been 15 years and I am still wiping them! All kids need an education... but, wait, uh? Oh, now I am educating them? I did not go to school for this . But, what about that nursing license that I did go to school for and endured the most difficult of academic boot camps to achieve? A year put to use, then shelved.
This winding road of life has taken me places I never dared to think I'd land. And thus far, has refused me some places I longed for. I, like so many others, had dreams, aspirations, interests, and gift sets that, at times now, seem daunting to consider pursuing, at best and, at worst, seem to have died somewhere in that adventurous and courageous young girl I once knew. But both are hazardous lies. Those desires and abilities aren't gone for good, nor are they too difficult to achieve, to experience, or to utilize. I still feel my heart accelerate a bit when I consider some of them. All this time spent investing in ways I didn't know I could has only added to my tool box. The Lord has taught me much and not for naught. While I teach and mother my brood in small town America, His eye remains upon me. He has not forgotten the plans He has for me nor has He changed His mind about me. The same goes for you. In the midst of these long days, He is cultivating our faith, my ability and desire to persevere, the humility to ask for wisdom and learn to receive it, and our maturity in Christ. I don't say these things boastfully, but in total trust of what He promises in James 1."Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you."
This time that seems I've been set on the wings of the stage is time that He's using to sanctify me and my gifts that both would be wholly set apart for His use for the good of others as opposed to selfish ambitions of position, wealth, or independence."Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others."(Philippians 2:3-4) In theatre talk, the wing space is the area on the sides of the stage where performers are preparing to enter the scene... Should I find your company in the wing space of life, let this be encouraging to you. Great things are being cultivated for greater things that are yet to come.
Perhaps, longtime dreams still hang in the lurk for you. God's not done with you or your abilities. Continue being faithful with the "small" things that you might be found trustworthy with grander things. Luke 16:10 “If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones. But if you are dishonest in little things, you won’t be honest with greater responsibilities." Keep your ears open to His voice for the day your name is called and confidently step forward knowing Who it is that calls you. Proverbs 14:26 "In the fear of the Lord there is strong confidence, And His children will have a place of refuge."
Our God is not arbitrary and neither are our lives. Like scenes in a play or moves in a synchronized dance, there's a purpose in the order of our lives and experiences. One experience always preparing us for the next.
In Judges, we read the story of Gideon, who is met with an angel of the Lord who names him a hero and charges him to rescue the Israelites from the hand of the Midianites. Gideon's response is one of doubt and pessimism as he looks at his current position, his past reputation, or his own strength, lack thereof.
Judges 6:11 The angel of the Lord came and sat down under the oak in Ophrah that belonged to Joash the Abiezrite, where his son Gideon was threshing wheat in a winepress to keep it from the Midianites. 12 When the angel of the Lord appeared to Gideon, he said, “The Lord is with you, mighty warrior.”
13 “Pardon me, my lord,” Gideon replied, “but if the Lord is with us, why has all this happened to us? Where are all his wonders that our ancestors told us about when they said, ‘Did not the Lord bring us up out of Egypt?’ But now the Lord has abandoned us and given us into the hand of Midian.”
14 The Lord turned to him and said, “Go in the strength you have and save Israel out of Midian’s hand. Am I not sending you?”
15 “Pardon me, my lord,” Gideon replied, “but how can I save Israel? My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my family.” Gideon then asks for a sign that this is really happening... I don't know about you, but this is all too familiar...
The daily grind can lead us to believe that the Lord has handed us over to the "Midianites" as well. Midian means "strife." But, striving is not of the Lord. It's a choice we make in response to being in a place that undesirable to us or unexpected. We strive against where He has us and for the place we want to go. It's wasted time and energy. Futile. He has not abandoned us there, rather, perhaps, in that place, we abandon Him and His extended grace and pick up with our own efforts and strength. We become near-sighted and focus on "how can I? I am the least." If only, we would fully engage where He has us so that we would be fully prepared for where He is bringing us.
In verse 16, when Gideon asks, "... but, how can I?..."God responds, ' The Lord answered, “I will be with you,...'
How often when the charge comes for us to step forward, our knee-jerk response is to offer justifications as why that can't possibly be a task for us... We're too weak, too busy, to poor, too important , or unimportant. Maybe for you, it has more to do with how your were created... I am a woman so that certainly can't be for me... I am a man- too strong and bold for that small task. Or maybe, we question God and His commitment, availability, and His presence in the situation. Perhaps, you've even forgotten about everyone of those tools, abilities, talents, and gift sets that He has packed your bag with over the years.
It's so easy to assume that because those things have been shelved for a time that they are over for us. Wrong! Father is so good. He is so orderly. Over time, He is giving us all the knowledge and wisdom and understanding that we need not only for today, but also for the days to come. He has created works for us to do by faith that He planned before the beginning of time. Don't give up on what He's given you. Your education? There may still be a place for that. Your love for children, for the elderly, for art, or for music... Don't give up on your passions and interest. He put them there on purpose for a purpose. But be ready for when your name is called to rise up and use them again. In His strength and in His might, great things can still be accomplished.
God's ways to provide for us can be so entirely different from what we envision it to be. When He decides to make a way where there seems to be no way, may you move forward in complete confidence in Him. For His thoughts and ways are greater than ours. I pray that you fully and joyfully engage in the place He has you without striving until He moves you. May you press in and press on with great expectations because of Who He is, not clinging to the places or the people you've come from. For, in Christ, you have been grafted into the holy sonship of God and are seated in Heavenly places!
1 Thessalonians 5: 23 May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. 24 The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it.
Isaiah 43:19
See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.
Psalm 40:2
He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQZNcZcfo8E, "Still Rolling Stones", Lauren Daigle
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZgt015-_OU, "Zion is Calling Me to a Higher Place of Praise"
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